5 things you should never say to a copywriter
Should you be lucky enough to be bestowed with the utter blessing of having a copywriter crafting your copy, it’s wise to know a few key things to ensure a harmonious collaboration. In the interest of saving lives, here are five things you should never say to a copywriter…
1. “OH, WE DON’T HAVE A BRIEF. CAN YOU JUST MAKE SOMETHING UP?”
Sorry, what is this absurdity? We…we don’t have a…a brief? The very foundation on which this content will be born from? That’s like going to the cinema and not eating popcorn. Or like going to a coffee shop and ordering herbal tea.
Okay, not quite, But it is utterly unthinkable. The brief is a holy document that must be held in high regard.
2. “I’LL PASS YOUR COPY AROUND THE TEAM FOR INDIVIDUAL FEEDBACK.”
Too many cooks spoil the broth, just as too many colleagues spoil the copy.
With the utmost respect: your colleagues are probably not professionally trained writers. They probably don’t have the extensive knowledge about what goes into specially crafted messaging aiming at a certain target market for the optimum results.
And if the team was truly adept at creating amazing copy? Well, they wouldn’t have hired a copywriter in the first place. Ooh, burnnnn!
3. “WHO IS OUR TARGET AUDIENCE? OH, ERM, EVERYONE!”
Say we’re selling an acne cream that has a specific ingredient which means it can’t be used in over 30’s or they’ll spontaneously combust after five applications - you still want me to target everyone? The whole, wide world of people? That’s a pretty big catchment group right there.
Terribly dramatic example, but this is a terribly serious marketing faux pas and one that I shall not participate in.
4. “WRITING IS SO EASY. I’D DO IT MYSELF IF I HAD TIME.”
Writing really is so easy, isn’t it? It’s like riding a bike down a country lane.
But you don’t actually know how to ride a bike. And your stabilisers have broken. And the brakes won’t work. And just to add insult to injury, it’s raining. And, oh look! Your trainer laces have become untied and now they’re stuck in the spokes and…THWACK! You’ve hit the floor.
Professional writers make it look easy because they are just that: professional. To write creative copy effectively, it’s so much more than putting pen to paper. Or more appropriate for these days, finger to key.
It takes years of training, plenty of trial and error and a lot of ink, coffee, tears and dramatic, pitiful sighing.
5. “I JUST CHANGED YOUR COPY AROUND A BIT BEFORE WE WENT LIVE.”
In the words of Dale Doback: ”This is the one rule of the house: Don't ever, ever, ever touch my drum set. You understand?”
Changing the copy is the ultimate cardinal sin that will make your copywriter want to roundhouse your ass. Yeah, that’s roundhouse. Not Roundhand (of the Snell variety).
If only you understood how many hours went in to perfecting that one seemingly tiny paragraph, you’d know how utterly soul-destroying it is that you’ve switched our feature line to appear beneath the benefits, and changed our grammar so now it looks like it’s us that can’t differentiate between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’. Father, forgive you, for you have well and truly sinned.
There’s a formula to the way we write, and there’s a special place in the client blacklist abyss for those that mess with it.